As we enter and enjoy the Wisdom Years, and as we feel our bodies and minds starting to exhibit some of the worrisome characteristics of aging, we start to pay more attention to ways we can stop this downhill slide!
Let’s face it, as we age we really have only 2 choices:
(1) Buy into the current “model” that says we will inevitably decline at an ever increasing rate until we’ve lost independence, mobility, energy, our minds, and so on – everything that makes us who we are! Or
(2) Refuse to accept that choice #1 is inevitable, and instead do everything we possibly can to avoid that scenario!
No surprise, I choose #2 – are you with me?
But perhaps like me, you’ve tried (many times) before, and nothing seems to stick.
We’ve all set those ambitious New Year’s resolutions (lose weight, get to the gym, etc., etc.), only to have them fall away after a few weeks, or even days!
Why is that?
Most resolutions fade because they come from a sense of obligation — from what we think we should do. But lasting change doesn’t happen through sheer logic or willpower. Those can carry you for a little while, but they won’t transform who you are.
Real change begins with identity.
So what’s your Identity?
Ask yourself: Who am I? Who do I want to be?
Your identity describes what you believe about yourself. It’s the story you tell yourself — even when you’re not aware of what you’re saying! And your habits are a mirror of this story.
If you see yourself as “someone who takes care of their body,” every workout reinforces that identity. If you see yourself as “a lifelong learner,” every page you read strengthens that belief. Each small choice becomes a vote for the person you most want to be.
This is the shift that makes habits stick. When your actions grow out of your identity, they stop feeling like chores and start feeling like expressions of who you truly are.
So instead of chasing goals you think you “should” achieve, start casting votes for the story you want to live. Step by step, habit by habit, you’ll build not just a new routine — but a new version of yourself.
Reimagining your Identity
If you’re trying to make changes to any of your habits, and finding it difficult, could your current beliefs about yourself be why?
For many of us in North America, at least while we’re still working, we identify ourselves according to our career role: “I’m a teacher.” “I’m an engineer.” Or perhaps we relate to the activities we undertake: “I’m a skier and golfer.” Or by our role in the family: “I’m a wife and grandmother.” What’s interesting is that in Europe, it tends to be more the latter two, where identifying oneself by naming the job is less important.
Or it might be that you identify yourself by the values you hold: “I’m a healthy woman who is kind and caring, and who is passionate about …”
However, too often we might ascribe less desirable qualities to our identity, ones we’ve held for many years and have come to believe are simply part of who we are: “I’ve never been good at math.” Or “I can’t help myself, my willpower is weak and I always order French Fries when I’m out for dinner!”
Instead, how would your behaviours change if you believed that you were strong and healthy, and that when presented with a choice, you chose healthy behaviours?
Try this: When reading a menu, and given the choice of French Fries or a garden salad, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: “What would Healthy ____ (say your name here) do?” You might be surprised to find that you know the answer, and it would not be those French Fries!
And it turns out that what matters most here is how you identify yourself.
Create your True Identity
It’s likely that your current behaviours and habits are simply a reflection of your current identity.
So to change your behaviour for good and lock it in as a habit, you need to start believing new things about yourself!
These can be things like: “I am healthy and strong.” “I make wise choices for my health.” “I eat Real Food and avoid the junk”.
The reality is this: Forming new habits and having them stay with you into the future, is a result of one single decision…
The decision to create your true, authentic identity, aligned with who you really are and how you want to show up in life.
However, few people choose their identities. Instead, they internalize the values of their parents, teachers, peers or the dominant cultures (such as the pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance). And these values may not be aligned with one’s authentic self which may then create an unsatisfactory life.
In contrast, fulfilled and happy people are able to live a life true to their values and pursue meaningful goals.
So what will be different this time?
Relying on willpower alone doesn’t work for long. Our brains are wired to conserve energy and avoid discomfort, so we can’t expect to fight against that forever. Simply trying to “think” a new habit into existence through logic and discipline isn’t enough.
The good news: habits don’t require constant motivation — they create motivation. Each small repetition is a vote for the kind of person you want to become, and those votes build momentum.
That’s why choosing the right habit matters. A habit will stick if it’s tied to something meaningful in your life, not just something you think you should do. Ask yourself: Who do I want to be? Then design habits that reinforce that identity.
Practices like mindfulness, movement, or healthy eating aren’t just tasks — they’re systems that reinforce resilience, reduce stress, and support the version of you that thrives.
When you align your daily actions with your desired identity, habits stop being a struggle. They become natural evidence of who you are.
The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is simply to practice the desired habits the majority of the time. And if you do this enough times for the right identity, eventually the good behaviours will become your new normal.
My Invitation: Love Your Brain Returns This November!
How are you going to start incorporating more of the foods and lifestyle habits that promote healthy aging?
And if we already know what to do—why is it sometimes so hard?
Because knowledge is just the first step.
Join me for Love Your Brain! — a small-group coaching program that applies the Science of Habit Change as we practice the Six Principles of Health and Longevity together.